My Tweets

  • 21 Hours ago How often is London Fashion Week? Impossible to get hotels! If I get one I'm going to walk around the lobby in a tracksuit to upset everyone
  • 21 Hours ago I was counting on the kitchen fitter being my human alarm clock today‚Ķ but he saw that all the blinds were shut and just left his card. Shit
  • 2 Days, 11 Hours ago This bottle opener looks like it's seen some scary shit...
  • 3 Days, 12 Hours ago Watching 'The Perfect Wedding' @thecustomshouse in South Shields. Awesome local theatre comedy farce! It's on tomorrow too if anyone fancies
  • 4 Days, 16 Hours ago I'm playing #Destiny so much... I think I'm growing my virginity back
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